Herodotus Tweets - Book 3
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3.160 Darius honored Zopyrus greatly for his sacrifice & gave him Babylon to rule. Later, Zopyrus' grandson Zopyrus would desert to Athens.
3.159 So Darius retook Babylon & tore down its walls. He impaled 3000 of its citizens & brought in women from other towns to repopulate it.
3.158 When Darius made an assault on the city, Zopyrus opened the gates and let him in. The Babylonians realized then they'd been betrayed.
3.157 The Babylonians were completely deceived. They gave him an army & after several successes vs. Darius they made him commander-in-chief.
3.156 So Zopyrus went off to Babylon and told them Darius had mutilated him, and he said he wanted to punish Darius for what he'd done.
3.155 Zopyrus' plan was to desert to Babylon as tho abused by D. He'd be given an army & wd repeatedly defeat D's men--by prearrangement.
3.154 Zopyrus therefore mutilated himself. He cut off his nose and ears and he shaved his head & whipped himself, and he reported to Darius.
3.153 20 months in, a mule owned by Megabyzus' son Zopyrus foaled. Z. remembered what the soldier had said & figured Babylon could be taken.
3.152 Nineteen months later, Darius still hadn’t taken the city, despite trying every sort of stratagem (including diverting the river).
3.151 Darius laid siege, and the Babylonians mocked him from their walls. "You'll take Babylon when mules bear foals!" one of them said.
3.150 Babylon revolted from Persia. In preparation for a siege, they selected some women to keep or send away, and they strangled the rest.
3.149 The Persians combed Samos thoroughly for inhabitants and gave it to Syloson entirely empty of people. Later Otanes helped resettle it.
3.148 Maeandrius left Samos & went to Sparta, where he tried to bribe Sparta's king Cleomenes. Instead, Cleomenes kicked him out of Sparta.
3.147 Otanes, forgetting his orders to take Samos w/o bloodshed, bid the Persians kill everyone they met, even kids, even in sacred places.
3.146 Maeandrius gave his bro an army & left Samos. The Samians attacked the unsuspecting Persians but were driven back into their citadel.
3.145 But Maeandrius had a half-crazy brother named Charilaus. He asked Maeandrius to give him an army so he could take on the Persians.
3.144 When the Persians came to restore Syloson to the tyranny, there was no resistance. Maeandrius agreed to terms & was ready to evacuate.
3.143 The crowd's reaction made him realize it wouldn't work. He remained tyrant and arrested a bunch of ppl. They were subsequently killed.
3.142 Maeandrius, Polycrates' old secretary, was tyrant in Samos. He had wanted to democratize the govt. & said so in a speech to his peeps.
3.141 Darius sent an expedition off to Samos under the command of Otanes (one of the 7 conspirators). He was to do whatever Syloson wanted.
3.140 When Syloson heard Darius was king, he came & asked for a favor, that D. restore him to the tyranny of Samos (w/o causing bloodshed).
3.139 Later Darius captured Samos. It all started before D. was king, when a stranger, Polycrates' bro Syloson, gave him a cloak as a gift.
3.138 The Persians, tho, were shipwrecked off Italy and enslaved before they returned home. They were the 1st Persians to come to Greece.
3.137 The Persians found Democedes in Croton but were prevented from taking him by his countrymen. They sailed off to Asia without him.
3.136 After surveying Greece they went to Tarentum, whose king arrested Darius' men. They were released after Democedes ran off to Croton.
3.135 The next day Darius sent 15 men off to Greece with Democedes. He bid them at all costs to bring the doctor back to Persia afterwards.
3.134 Atossa, cured, did as instructed: she suggested to Darius that he invade Greece. He decided to send out spies with Democedes as guide.
3.133 Darius' wife Atossa consulted Democedes about a growth on her breast. He said he'd cure her but made her swear she'd do him a favor.
3.132 Democedes had everything he could want--a place at the royal table, a huge house, influence at court--except a ticket back to Greece.
3.131 Democedes was a Greek from Croton. He'd been Polycrates' doctor and a free man, but Oroetes enslaved him after killing Polycrates.
3.130 At 1st Democedes denied being a doctor, worried D. would keep him forever. Finally he confessed, cured Darius, & was rewarded w/gold.
3.129 A bit later Darius hurt his ankle jumping off a horse. His doctors were useless. After 7 days Oroetes' slave Democedes was brought in.
3.128 Bagaeus was chosen by lot to do it. He went to Oroetes' place at Sardis w/dispatches from the king and got O's bodyguards to kill him.
3.127 Darius had had enough & decided to get rid of him. He didn't want to send an army. Instead he summoned a bunch of would-be assassins.
3.126 So Polycrates died, as Amasis of Egypt had foreseen. And Oroetes did further bad stuff, including killing a messenger sent by Darius.
3.125 Oroetes met & killed Polycrates, in a horrible fashion, & crucified him, fulfilling the daughter's dream. He kept Polycrates' slaves.
3.124 Polycrates opted to meet Oroetes, tho many opposed it, e.g., his daughter, who dreamt he was hanging aloft in the air, washed by Zeus.
3.123 Polycrates sent his secretary, Maeandrius, to see if Oroetes' $$$ was good. O. prepared 8 chests for inspection--stones topped w/gold.
3.122 Oroetes sent a messenger to Polycrates offering him $$$ if he got Oroetes safely away. (He claimed the king was plotting against him.)
3.121 Others say it's because Polycrates once snubbed a messenger Oroetes had sent.
3.120 The satrap of Sardis, Oroetes, decided to kill Polycrates of Samos, some say because he'd been mocked for not capturing the island.
3.119 They told Darius, who arrested Intaphrenes & his male kinsmen. But at the request of I's wife, Darius released 1 of them--her brother.
3.118 Intaphrenes, 1 of the 7 conspirators, went to see Darius but was told he was w/a woman. Suspecting a lie he mutilated the gatekeepers.
3.117 The Persian king dammed up a river that once ran through five nations. He opens the gates to irrigate their countries now for a price.
3.116 There is a lot of gold in northern Europe, which they say one-eyed men steal from griffins. But I don't believe that such men exist.
3.115 I can't say anything certain about the limits of the world to the west. I do not know, e.g., whether there is a sea beyond Europe.
3.114 Ethiopia, farthest to the southwest of inhabited lands, has gold & elephants. Its men are the tallest, longest lived, & most handsome.
3.113 There are strange sheep in Arabia. Some have tails 4.5 feet long. The men put carts behind them so the tails don't drag on the ground.
3.112 The Arabians burn gum-labdanum as incense. They find it growing in the beards of he-goats.
3.111 They collect cinnamon sticks from birds' nests--after tricking the birds into making the nests so heavy they fall to the ground.
3.110 The Arabians cover their body and faces with leather to collect cassia: pugnacious bat-like creatures live near the ponds it grows in.
3.109 In the case of the winged snakes, females kill males during intercourse, & the babies are born only after eating their mother's womb.
3.108 There aren't as many of these snakes as there might be: cowardly, edible creatures (e.g., hares) are prolific while predators are not.
3.107 In Arabia they have cassia, cinnamon, and frankincense. The frankincense is guarded by those winged snakes I mentioned [at 2.75].
3.106 The most distant lands have the nicest stuff. India, for example, has really big animals (4-footed & winged)--except for their horses.
3.105 They fill their bags w/gold & get out quickly, for the ants smell them & give chase. If the men aren't fast the ants could kill them.
3.104 The Indians are afraid of the ants, & they go for the gold at the hottest time of day (early morning), when the ants are below ground.
3.103 (Camels, by the way, have 4 thighs & 4 knees on their hind legs. Their genitals are between their legs, but pointing toward the tail.)
3.102 Some of the Indians go out on camels to collect gold, which is dug up by giant ants--they're bigger than foxes, smaller than dogs.
3.101 The Indians I've mentioned have sex out in the open, like animals. Their semen (like that of Ethiopians) is black rather than white.
3.100 Another group of Indians won't kill anything. When one of them gets sick he wanders off alone. No one cares if he's sick or dead.
3.99 Among them, e.g., are the Padaei, nomads who eat their old people. Also their sick: if someone denies he's sick they eat him anyway.
3.98 The Indians pay in gold dust (more on that in a bit). There are many different Indian peoples, who live farthest east of all we know.
3.97 The Persians alone don't pay taxes. Certain others pay instead in gifts, e.g., the Ethiopians give gold, ebony, boys, & elephant tusks.
3.96 The money came from Asia & Libya, and later the Aegean islands & parts of Europe. It was melted down and poured into earthen vessels.
3.95 Add it all up and Darius got 14,560 talents in annual tribute, give or take.
3.94 The 17th-19th provinces paid 400, 200, and 300 talents. The Indians, the 20th province, paid the most: 360 talents of gold dust.
3.93 The 12th-16th provinces paid 360, 400, 600, 250, and 300 talents respectively.
3.92 #9 1000 talents and 500 boys who would be made eunuchs. #10 450 talents. #11 200 talents.
3.91 #5 350 talents. #6 700 talents, $$$ from the sale of fish from Lake Moeris, & 120,000 bushels of grain. #7 170 talents. #8 300 talents.
3.90 The 1st province, for example, paid 400 talents of silver annually. #2 500 talents. #3 360 talents. #4 500 talents & 360 white horses.
3.89 He then organized the Persian empire into twenty provinces, or satrapies, and assessed the taxes due annually from each nation.
3.88 So Darius became king. He married the two daughters of Cyrus (Atossa & Artystone) as well as the daughters of Smerdis and Otanes.
3.87 Another version of the story has the groom there giving Darius’ horse his hand to smell, as he’d rubbed it on a mare’s loins.
3.86 In the A.M. Darius' horse whinnied on cue, an omen underscored by a flash of lightning. The runners-up did obeisance to their new king.
3.85 Darius fixed the contest with his groom. The groom let Darius' stallion mount a mare where the conspirators would ride in the morning.
3.84 The king wd be whoever's horse whinnied 1st at dawn. The others wd be able to enter palace unannounced unless the king was w/a woman.
3.83 Darius' opinion won the day. It was likely that 1 of the 7 would become king. Otanes did not want to rule & withdrew from the running.
3.82 But Darius argued that they should keep the monarchy: the Persians had been freed by one man; they should remain free through one man.
3.81 Megabyzus wanted an oligarchy. He agreed that monarchies were bad but said rule by the mob is likewise unrestrained & given to outrage.
3.80 Five days later the conspirators met to discuss Persia's future constitution. Otanes argued in favor of instituting a democracy.
3.79 They cut off the Magians' heads and ran around showing them to people. Everybody celebrated by killing any Magians they could find.
3.78 When they heard the commotion the two Magians grabbed weapons, one a spear, the other his bow. Both were killed, the latter by Darius.
3.77 They were let in by the guards but stopped by the eunuchs--royal message bearers. They killed the eunuchs and ran to find Smerdis.
3.76 En route to the palace the 7 conspirators heard about Prexaspes. They were convinced by an omen (involving birds) to go forward w/plan.
3.75 But from atop a tower Prexaspes told the assembled Persians the truth: he'd killed the real Smerdis. Then he leapt to his death.
3.74 Meanwhile, back at the palace, Smerdis and his brother convinced Prexaspes to announce publicly that this Smerdis was the son of Cyrus.
3.73 Gobryas agreed w/Darius. They were Persians being ruled by an earless Mede! By a Magian! They should act at once. The rest agreed.
3.72 Darius outlined his plan at Otanes' request: they'd pretend to have a message for the king and would kill any guards who opposed them.
3.71 Otanes wanted to increase their nos. & move slowly, Darius to keep group small/act at once: he’d turn them in himself if they delayed.
3.70 Otanes formed a group of 7 conspirators against Smerdis: himself, Aspathines, Gobryas, Intaphrenes, Megabyzus, Hydarnes, and Darius.
3.69 But she couldn't get to Atossa, so Otanes had her check hubby for ears: no ears meant he was an imposter. Result: Smerdis was earless!
3.68 But Otanes, dad of Smerdis' wife Phaedyme, suspected. Is your hubby really Cyrus' son? he asked. She didn't know. Ask Atossa, he said.
3.67 The Magian Smerdis ruled w/o trouble for 7 months and made himself popular among non-Persian Asians with his tax & military relief.
3.66 Cambyses' wound gangrened & he died. The nobles didn't believe Smerdis was an impostor, and Prexaspes denied killing the real Smerdis.
3.65 Later Cambyses told his peeps he’d had Prexaspes kill his bro & that the Smerdis in Persia was an impostor they shd remove from power.
3.64 Cambyses had killed bro thinking he was the Smerdis who'd usurp the throne. He got on his horse, cut his leg, & knew he'd die in Egypt.
3.63 Cambyses learned the herald had taken his orders from Patizeithes, a Magian, and realized P. & P's brother Smerdis had risen in revolt.
3.62 Cambyses, hearing a herald say Cyrus' son Smerdis now ruled Persia, assumed Prexaspes had failed to kill his bro. But P. swore he had.
3.61 Now, while Cambyses was going mad in Egypt, 2 brothers usurped his throne back home. One of them pretended to be C.'s dead bro Smerdis.
3.60 I dwell on the Samians because of their three great construction projects: an underground channel, a 1/4-mile-long mole, and a temple.
3.59 The Samian exiles then settled in Crete and grew wealthy. But in the sixth year they were defeated at sea by Aegina and were enslaved.
3.58 The Samian ambassadors, in their red ship, were refused aid. The Samians thereupon took 100 talents from the Siphnians by force.
3.57 The Samian exiles who'd called in Sparta sailed to Siphnos to ask for a loan. But a prophecy bid the Siphnians to beware a red herald.
3.56 The Spartans gave up and went home after 40 days. It was their first expedition into Asia.
3.55 Two Spartans fought/died especially well, Archias & Lycopes. As I heard from his grandson, the Samians honored Archias after his death.
3.54 So the Spartans laid siege to Samos, but they were driven out by Polycrates and his army.
3.53 Much later P. persuaded L. to trade places w/him & rule Corinth. The Corcyraeans killed Lycophron to thwart the plan, hence P.'s anger.
3.52 Periander bid that Lycophron be treated as an outcast. Later, when L.'s attitude didn't improve, Periander shipped him off to Corcyra.
3.51 Annoyed that his son was uncommunicative, Periander threw him out of the house. He confirmed his suspicion that L. knew about Melissa.
3.50 Periander (tyrant of Corinth) wanted revenge against Corcyra. He'd killed his wife Melissa. His son Lycophron found out and was sullen.
3.49 Corinth had colonized Corcyra, and from day one the two states had been at enmity.
3.48 The Corinthians helped too: a generation before the Samians had stopped them from sending 300 Corcyraean boys to Sardis for castration.
3.47 According to the Spartans, they helped the exiles because they wanted revenge: the Samians had stolen a breastplate and bowl from them.
3.46 The Samians made a long speech asking for help, but they didn't succeed until they were brief enough to satisfy the "laconic" Spartans.
3.45 There are various stories about what the exiles did after Polycrates sent them to Egypt, but eventually they made their way to Sparta.
3.44 So the Spartans attacked this Polycrates. They'd been called in to help by Samians exiles whom Polycrates had shipped off to Egypt.
3.43 Amasis, when he heard the news, realized Polycrates was doomed, despite his apparent success. He severed his guest friendship with him.
3.42 Some 5 days later a fisherman gave a fish to Polycrates. When it was cut open, the ring was found. Polycrates wrote Amasis about this.
3.41 Polycrates accordingly went out on a big boat and threw his gold signet ring into the sea. Then he went home and mourned its loss.
3.40 Amasis advised Polycrates to avert the gods' jealousy by lessening his good fortune. He suggested P. cast away something he valued.
3.39 The Spartans, meanwhile, attacked Samos & its tyrant, Polycrates. He'd been a guest friend of Amasis & was very successful in warfare.
3.38 If he weren't mad, he wouldn't have done such things. People, by the way, tend to think their own customs (e.g. burial rites) are best.
3.37 Cambyses committed blasphemies. He opened coffins and mocked an image of Hephaestus. He entered a shrine forbidden to non-priests.
3.36 When Croesus, the Lydian king, suggested he tone it down, Cambyses tried to kill him. But Croesus lived & they were later reconciled.
3.35 To prove he wasn't deranged from drink, he took aim at Prexaspes' son with his bow. He hit the heart--supposed proof of his sanity.
3.34 He did other crazy stuff. He asked Prexaspes what people said of him. The answer infuriated him: you're great, but you drink too much.
3.33 Those are the crazy things he did to his own family, maybe because of the Apis bull business, maybe because he suffered from epilepsy.
3.32 He killed her because she reproached him for killing Smerdis. Some say they argued during a dog fight, others that it was over dinner.
3.31 The next bad thing he did was to murder his sister/wife. (She was one of two sisters whom he'd married--not the done thing in Persia.)
3.30 Cambyses went nuts. He dreamt a messenger told him his brother Smerdis had usurped the throne. He sent a man, Prexaspes, to kill him.
3.29 Cambyses went postal on Apis. He stabbed it in the thigh, laughing at its mortality. Bull died. Priests whipped. Celebration banned.
3.28 Priests confirmed reason for celebration: Apis appears in form of a calf w/special marks. Cambyses ordered Apis bull be brought to him.
3.27 After Ethiopia, Cambyses killed bigwigs in Memphis: he didn’t believe the Egyptians were celebrating bc their god Apis had appeared.
3.26 So ended the Ethiopian campaign. The army sent against the Ammonians disappeared in the desert, perhaps buried by a wind storm.
3.25 The Fish-Eaters reported to Cambyses, who was furious. He marched south at once. But out of food & gone cannibal they had to turn back.
3.24 They shrink their dead and cover them in gypsum, then put them in crystal coffins. You can see the shrunken guys through the crystal.
3.23 The Fish-Eaters learned that Ethiopians live about 120 years. They were shown a spring of H2O that may account for this longevity.
3.22 The king asked about Persian customs and textiles and concluded that the only thing the Persians had over his people was their wine.
3.21 The king was on to the spies. He gave them a bow for Cambyses & said the Persians shouldn’t return until they could string bows as big.
3.20 Cambyses sent the Fish-Eaters to Ethiopia with gifts for the king: the Ethiopians choose as king the tallest and strongest among them.
3.19 Cambyses summoned "Fish-Eaters" from Elephantine to serve as his spies. Meanwhile, the expedition against Carthage was a nonstarter.
3.18 The Table of the Sun is in Ethiopia: the boiled meat of every four-footed creature is there, and anyone who wants can go and eat there.
3.17 Then he planned 3 campaigns, against Carthaginians, Ammonians, & Ethiopians: 1st step was to send spies to Ethiopia w/gifts for king.
3.16 Cambyses had the mummy of Amasis whipped & stabbed & plucked & burned. Burning corpses is not the done thing in either Egypt or Persia.
3.15 Too late! The kid was dead. But Psammenitus lived on at court until he was caught plotting a revolt. He drank bull's blood and died.
3.14 Cambyses toyed with Psammenitus, displaying his kids as captives. His son was led off to his death, but Cambyses decided to spare him.
3.13 The Egyptians were routed and fled to Memphis, which the Persians laid siege to & reduced. Neighboring peeps surrendered w/o a fight.
3.12 I saw the bones of those who died in this battle: the Persians' skulls were brittle, the Egyptians' stout (bc they shaved their heads).
3.11 Cambyses' army arrived & camped near the Egyptians. Greeks in the Egyptian army slit the throats of Phanes' kids and drank their blood.
3.10 Amasis' son Psammenitus waited for Cambyses' attack. Amasis, by the way, had died by this time. He had ruled Egypt for 44 years.
3.9 Per their agreement the Arabian king contrived to have camel skins of water waiting in the desert for Cambyses.
3.8 Arabian pledge-giving involves cutting the palms of the two involved parties and smearing seven stones with their blood.
3.7 That was later; in Cambyses' day there was no water in the desert. Cambyses asked the Arabian king for safe conduct through his country.
3.6 The Egyptians import wine from Greece & Phoenicia, but you won't see any empty jars around: they're filled w/water & sent to the desert.
3.5 The only land route into Egypt is through the desert.
3.4 One of Amasis' bodyguards, Phanes, deserted Egypt and made his way to Persia. He gave Cambyses advice about how to cross the desert.
3.3 I doubt a 3rd story told, that as a boy Cambyses promised his mother he would one day make Egypt's bottom its top & its top its bottom.
3.2 So the Persians say. The Egyptians say Cambyses was the grandson of Apries. Not true: he was Cyrus' son by a Persian woman, Cassandane.
3.1 Cambyses invaded Egypt bc Amasis sent him the wrong girl as a bride. But actually Cambyses’ ophthalmologist was behind the whole thing.